Advice to my younger self

If you stick around, what you'll find in this episode is a compilation of all my musings, learnings and ah ha moments that may help you see your path a little more clearly and ideally set you up for whatever is to come for your career in 2022. Whether starting your career or changing paths at any age and stage of your life, these sentiments ring such truth that I wish I had heard them and embraced them years ago - and with me, you will always get the unconventional viewpoint.

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The Colour Gap Podcast is part of the Alberta Podcast Network, locally grown, community supported.

Licensed intro music from NoMo

Transcript

The Colour Gap podcast is part of the Alberta Podcast Network - locally grown, community supported.

With Pod Power, our sponsors are making it possible for us to amplify the voices of Albertans and Alberta podcasters. This episode, Edmonton Community Foundation is helping us give a Pod Power shout out to:

Is This For Real? is a podcast about various facets of Black life in Edmonton. 

In the first season of the show, “Breaking the Blue Wall,” host Oumar Salifou explore anti-Black racism and policing, and tell stories about policing in schools, accountability in Alberta's policing system, and the impacts of police violence on Black Edmontonians.

You can listen to the podcast and read more about each episode at is-this-for-real-dot-ca. You can also support the work of these podcasters and future seasons on Patreon. 

Can you feel it? There is a certain kind of palpable energy at this time of year that makes me hopeful for what’s to come next. I don’t need to state the obvious, but I will because it’s the elephant in the room that seems never ending. The pandemic rages on, variant after variant, global vaccine inequity and a whole unearthing of some jarring truths about humans has taken up the better part of the last 2 years, but regardless of what is going on around us, there is a anticipation that the start of a new year brings that almost feels like it’s full of possibilities for that fresh start, new beginnings and the feeling that the best is yet to come. 

And the new year also makes me a bit nostalgic for simpler times, even if they didn’t feel so simple back then. A time when the world felt less complicated and the only thing I had to worry about was getting through the final exam crunch. I live in a state of regular reflection  and often think about the advice I wish I had when I was younger to help me put things into perspective about what was to come as I started off in my career post graduation, what advice I would give my younger self to move through things with a little less anxiety, more grace and self-compassion.

Essentially what you’ll get if you stick around in this episode is a compilation of all my musings, learnings and ah ha moments that may help you see your path a little more clearly and ideally set you up for whatever is to come for your career in 2022. Whether starting your career or changing paths at any age and stage of your life, these sentiments ring such truth that I wish I had heard them and embraced them years ago - and with me, you will always get the unconventional viewpoint. 

And you can take it from me when I say I have made a lot of mistakes in my life – gone down paths that were unproductive, wasted years upon years and dollars and dollars pursuing goals that never actualized into much, but I’ve never for a moment regretted the choice to better myself through seeking out different ways of looking at the world via education. I do have life lessons that were birthed from this journey, and my non-traditional route to my current path is just one testament to that – along with the accumulation of some pretty substantial student loan debt.  With that I feel well equipped to chime in on the common rhetoric you always see floating around on “if I were 22…” that advises new grads of the pitfalls to avoid from us more “seasoned” individuals. I’m no expert, but there is one tidbit of wisdom that I truly wish I had stumbled upon years back that I still think applies. Whether starting your career or changing paths at any age and stage of your life, these common sentiments ring such truth that I wish I had heard it all years ago…

First it’s one that I’ve only recently come to understand more fully from a particularly taxing year in my life, and that is that rest doesn’t have to be earned and that old adage of success being only connected to how hard you hustle and deserved because your level of productivity or pushing through personal trauma is bullshit, plain and simple. Your right to slow down, say no and prioritize yourself regardless of what you may have going on in your life is something you should learn to do early on. I have so many well meaning people respond to my sentiments about feeling burnt out from this year with well intentioned comments around having earned rest and how much I deserve to take a break after the year I’ve had. But it shouldn’t take a global pandemic and the loss of my Dad for me to have realized that rest and real self care doesn’t need to be earned. Creating space for time that isn’t filled with trying to fix something about myself or work to achieve that next thing that will help me catch up to the people around me is vital and important to move forward with purpose and intentionality on my own terms. That intentional rest and creating space for recharging without apology creates space for being the best version of myself and it should never be downplayed, neglected or not prioritised. The same goes for you, take that PTO and be unapologetic about rest. 

Second, don’t get too attached to any one workplace or build your entire identity around your career - honest truth moment here: everyone and I mean everyone is replaceable. In my ten years in HR, I’ve seen people quit, get fired, retire or even die - people that have worked  within organizations for 30+ years who after the kind words, sentiments, sharing or memories and reminiscing on the good are replaceable because life simply does and must go on. I could do an entire episode on this topic but I’ll keep it short - first, it serves you more than you know to be self-serving in your career and see every opportunity from the lens of what it can do to further your pathway and your intentions. Not getting attached or expecting an employer to fully see you or know your worth will save you a lot of frustration and prevent you from being held back from seeing your own potential and ability. You will find it a lot easier to walk away from toxic workplaces, bad bosses and work that doesn’t light you up because you’ll learn early on how to separate your sense of self from your work. That alone will save you a lot of misery and get you closer to a more fulfilling path on your terms. Second, no one is going to give a shit how much money you made or what your job title was when you’re gone. Your ego may want to connect your sense of self worth to those external markers and validators, but if there is one thing I learned more than anything this year is that impact is made through purpose, relationships and your ability to use your natural talents to serve others. It is not found through climbing that corporate ladder or attaching your identity to your work. Invest in building an identity outside what you do and you’ll find far more fulfilment and satisfaction in life. 

Also, there isn’t a direct roadmap or pathway that you can rely on to move through the tough moments, the lulls and the down times in your career. Your path is yours alone and it requires you to know yourself and trust your ability to move through the parts that aren’t so seamless, the tough times and the times when you feel unworthy or unqualified. I remember back to my first semester in grad school where I would have sleepless nights about what is commonly known in the academic world as the “imposter syndrome”. The feeling that you somehow got into the program by some administrative error and that any minute, someone was going to discover that you really had no idea what it was that you were doing. I was that bewildered student with a business undergrad entering a philosophically based education program that challenged every bit of my logical and pragmatic way of thinking. I went from reading case studies and learning about micro and macroeconomics to reading intense philosophical theories by John Locke and Immanuel Kant. For the first few months, absolutely nothing made sense. I felt like I was reading a foreign language, like any minute they were going to get I didn’t have the chops to do it and that I was going to end up a grad school dropout. It was in those sleepless nights that I realized the journey I signed up for was never meant to be easy, but it was meant to push me to realize my potential and that a number of things had naturally set me up for success – my “home training,” as I like to call it – the life lessons and example parted onto me by my hard working and determined parents and uber admirable big brother, my perseverance and tenacity to get through my undergraduate degree even while working full time and the simple fact that I was one stubborn young woman, determined not to fail. The same goes for you – when you are entering into the workforce for the first time or you are attempting to carve a new career path, you are going to have to push through a whole whack of doubt and possibly rejection – whether that’s rejection from those that don’t believe in you or your own self-doubt, it’s going to come down to you pulling from the knowledge that you got this far for a reason. That place of unknown and the unfamiliar – that’s exactly where the magic happens. Can I tell you a little secret? It wasn’t through sheer luck that you got this far in life already and it’s not going to be through sheer luck that you will continue to thrive. You have to know that and own that. And let’s have an honest moment here and say that traditional academia doesn’t always give you the skills to navigate life outside those ivory towers, so when push comes to shove you’re going to have to rely on some common sense, internal drive and most importantly passion for the difference you want to make in the world through your work. Most importantly you’re going to have to rely on belief in yourself to get through it. You are going to find yourself in many situations that no one ever taught you how to manage and you know what? If you’re excited by what you do or excited by the possibilities of where it can take you, you’re going to somehow find a way to make it work.

And I wish I knew when I was 22 that being excited about what you do isn’t something that necessarily falls in your lap - for some of us, we have to go down the path not yet paved and make mistakes and have to pivot to get to a place where we’re really fulfilled or closer to a career to love. Your path to that career utopia may also have to start in a place of self-reflection. I think it’s a spiritual journey that requires you to really know yourself and in part surrender to being open to the learning journey (I did an entire episode on this called Why your path to finding fulfilling works requires a spiritual lens if you’re curious to go deeper), but it can start with some simple but deep questions. Asking yourself, “If money, time, personal self-limiting beliefs or practicality were not factors, what would you see yourself doing?” Being realistic and honest with yourself is important – if you don’t have Beyonce’s singing talent but want to emulate her singing career, you probably aren’t doing yourself any favors. It’s also essential to be clear that there are certain paths you may only ever see in your daydreams and that’s ok. Not everything that excites you has to be the career path you choose, and be careful not to confuse what gives you peace with what drives you – these can all be things that can become something you incorporate in another way in your life. For me, if my life had gone down another path part of me thinks being a travel writer would be pretty damn cool – it incorporates my love for travel as well as my love for the written word – because I’m clear on my core values, I know I have a non-negotiable one of giving back and using my platform to effect change. Being a well-paid, not to mention likely well fed and cultured travel writer would likely not fulfill that, so I get my fixes in other ways – this podcast is one and getting through a bucket list of goals that include an extensive tally of exotic destinations to experience in a post-pandemic world, is another. Remember, this is a start, the real journey begins when you fully commit to the process - the Universe has a funny way of conspiring to make things happen when you ask, with clarity.

My hope for you is that the year 2022 is full of peace, abundance and joy. That those simple pleasures become a grounding experience for you to steep further into gratitude and that the best is yet to come for you too. I hope you usher in 2022 with kindness to yourself and grace for what you’re experiencing in your life and at this time in your career. I hope what you’ve heard here today has provided some food for thought, some new ways of looking at the path ahead and given you that inner knowing that you got this. You’re so damn worth it and I hope the world shows up in big ways to prove that to you in the new year. 

This episode of The Colour Gap Podcast was also brought to you by Alberta Association of Optometrists, proudly celebrating a century of caring for Albertans.

It happens: Many people don’t call their optometrist first for urgent eye care when they need it. From spring cleaning mishaps to winter eye infections, if you or your family have an eye emergency, doctors of optometry are trained to diagnose, treat, and prescribe medications—no referral necessary.

And just a reminder—Alberta Health coverage is available towards your urgent eyecare appointment. To find an  optometrist in your area, visit optometrists-dot-A-B-dot-C-A.

The Alberta Association of Optometrists represents almost 800 Doctors of Optometry in over eighty communities  across the province. Members are highly-trained, regulated health professionals who provide primary eye health and vision care to Albertans. Learn more at optometrists-dot-A-B-dot-C-A.

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