Seeing the strength and power in your introversion

“In a gentle way you can shake the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi

Your introversion should be seen as your superpower, yet so many of us are taught that being quiet equates to shy, unseen, unheard. We get looked over for opportunities, may hold ourselves back from pursuing roles that push us out of our comfort zones and may not always allow ourselves to celebrate our quiet confidence.  

If you yourself are unsure of how to navigate through this loud world and connect with people through your own brand of quiet confidence, listen on to learn more about how I do it.

Licensed intro music from NoMo

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:00

You're so shy a wallflower, why are you so quiet? You really need to come out of your shell. You know, if you really want to succeed in your career, you should try to be more extroverted. How familiar does this all sound to you? That was literally the narrative of my entire childhood and words like shy and wallflower continue to trigger me to this day. Being the quiet one was a big problem for me, namely, because I internalized other people's perceptions of my quietness as weakness. I looked at myself as socially awkward, more engaging over text the background type of woman. And I often found myself becoming dear friends with fabulously extroverted women who Shaun brighter than I ever thought I could in part, because I don't think the power of introversion was ever really celebrated or seen until the last number of years. And even still in my day-to-day work, being an introvert is not always seen as a strength, something I've had to reconcile in my own brain and life for many years, reflection, hindsight, and community of like valued humans are amazing things. And in 2021, I'm as proud as anyone of being labeled an introvert. I now truly value my downtime most times without justification and genuinely see beauty in this innate capacity to navigate the world in my own way, without boxing myself into preconceived ideas of what I can and cannot do. It's a freeing, limitless and abundant way of living and much of the confidence around this came from recognizing that it don't have to play into stereotypes of what can and cannot work for my quiet self. Being an introvert is truly my superpower and it allows me to use storytelling, quiet reflection, and even vulnerability to connect with people in a meaningful way. What once felt like a hindrance to my professional growth is now my greatest strength. And I want to give you the insight and inspiration to see the power in your own introversion. But first, let me start by taking you way back to a story of humility, courage, and change. I was the ripe old age of 30 when I decided to bet on myself and my dreams, and I quit a cushy oil and gas job to make the leap and go back to school. I packed up everything I owned and relocated to Vancouver to start grad school in the fall of 2010. My dream was to get into a role in human resources and specifically in workplace learning and corporate training, but no way was I ever going to be the person standing in front of the room, facilitating learning that was far too out of the comfort. So rather I had this idea that I could be behind the scenes, developing, learning, never having to be the person to deliver it off. I went in pursuit of my master's degree in education, but my measly$5,000 in savings quickly ran out. And I found myself desperate to find a job, to keep me afloat after a few missed steps and to survival jobs. I found myself being offered a four month recruitment coordinator role at a helicopter company about an hour commute outside of Vancouver recruitment. And the idea of talking to strangers all day long, having to be the bearer of bad news for people that didn't land jobs. All of this was an absolute nightmare in my mind, but it was an opportunity to get a foot in the door in HR, something that wasn't made available to me in any capacity through the countless jobs I applied to until this. So I said yes to the job that barely paid me enough to pay rent. I was literally in perpetual overdraft for the years that I lived in Vancouver and found ways to push through the experience, taking things day by day and finding opportunities to almost hack by introversion. So I could make it work fast-forward to the last six years. And I progressed to a really well paying career in the space of recruitment for many years, getting into a senior leadership role for a company that on average saw 40,000 applications a year with my title and representing a brand that was coveted. And one that I loved, I found myself talking to strangers a lot. And through that experience, I honed in on getting comfortable with being out of my comfort zone each and every day. And now public speak as a side hustle. I continue to talk for a living in a career that doesn't give me a lot of space and opportunity for on the spot reflection and often challenges me to think on the spot. And if we're being honest, the stuff never gets easier. The introvert in me doesn't want the spotlight. I hate being put on the spot. I hate having to talk to complete strangers. And if you would have asked me years ago to get in front of a room and speak for an hour on anything, I would have stayed awake for two weeks worrying. In fact, that is literally what happened for my first public speaking opportunity, but that's a story for another day. I was really and truly unaware of the power that is possible when I actually tapped into my authentic voice. Now don't get me wrong. Being an introvert who is in a position to talk to people for a living, certainly requires a level of tenacity and a desire to live outside of my comfort zone. I get anxiety when looking at my calendar and seeing back-to-back calls booked in, I am not the person effortlessly routing a networking event, striking up conversations with strangers. And most times I'm so beat after each work day that I'm usually in bed curled up in front of mindless television before 10 o'clock each night. I am. However, the person that loves connecting one-on-one, I may even be that person that strikes up a conversation with you on an airplane. And I truly believe that my strengths in my day-to-day work come from my introversion. I'm a natural observer, always a curious question, asker and I listen well enough to pick up on cues that others may not notice if you really break it down. The seemingly extroverted nature of my work is ironically a natural fit for an introvert. And yes, I stumbled into my line of work truly by fateful accident. But the path to become successful has been in part due to a sense of self-awareness and a desire to overcome my own securities. And let's be honest in part to prove that I could do what most would never imagine I was capable of. If you can't tell by now, I have and likely always will be a very Stepford humans, but it's taken planning, preparation practice, and almost living by the fake it till you make it mantra each and every day. And if you yourself are unsure of how to navigate through this loud world and connect with people through your own bread of quiet confidence, listen on to learn more about how I do it. First. I say that if you want to do more and pursue opportunities and career paths that require you to be more on than off, you may have to live outside of your proverbial comfort zone a lot, but it's likely not the first time you have, and you're going to need to pull on that past experience for strength for me. I remember back to my first semester in grad school, where I would have sleepless nights about what is commonly known in the academic world as imposter syndrome. That feeling that you somehow got into the program by some administrative error and that any minute someone was going to discover that you really had no idea what it was that you were doing. I was that bewildered students with a business undergrad entering a philosophy based education program that challenged every bit of my logical and pragmatic way of thinking. I went from reading case studies and learning about micro and macro economics to reading intense philosophical theories by John Locke and Emmanuel cat for the first few months. Absolutely nothing made sense. I felt like I was reading a foreign language and like any minutes they were going to get, I didn't have the chops to do it. And then I was going to end up a grad school dropout. It was in those sleepless nights that I realized the journey I signed up for was never meant to be easy, but it was meant to push me to realize my potential and that a number of things had naturally set me up for success. My home, as I like to call it, the life lessons and examples partnered onto me by my hardworking and determined parents and my Uber admirable, big brother, my perseverance and tenacity to get through my undergraduate degree, even while working full time. And the simple fact that I was one stubborn, young woman, determined not to fail. And the same goes for you when you are entering into the workforce for the first time attempting to carve a new career path or taking on a role that force you out of your introverted nature. You're going to have to push through a whole whack of doubt and rejection, whether that's rejection from those that don't believe in you or your own self doubt, it's going to come down to you, pulling from the knowledge that you got this far for a reason, that place of unknown and the unfamiliar. That's exactly where the magic happens. And can I tell you a little secret? It wasn't through sheer luck that you got this far in life already, and it's not going to be through sheer luck that you will continue to thrive. You're going to find yourself in many situations that no one ever taught you how to manage. And you know what, if you're excited by what you do or excited by the possibilities of where it can take you, you're going to somehow find a way to make it work second, and probably most importantly, embrace and celebrate your uniqueness, know your worth by understanding that being a thinker with the curious mind and strengths outside of being the loudest and most gregarious person in the room will work for you. Once you get the incredible value, those qualities bring to your work and personal life, by knowing how being quiet can work for you. It truly allows you to make room for yourself to create space for the things that are non-negotiable to you. Time for recharging meditation, exercise, reading, quiet reflection, whatever it is that you need to balance. And there's so much beauty in being comfortable in your own skin, something I'm in a forever quest to get to as my constant state of being, but also so deeply aware of the freedom and peace finding comfort in your own company. B if 2020 and the global pandemic taught us nothing else. It sure taught many of us that sometimes our very best friend can be our own thoughts, solitude, quiet time for reflection and introspection shutting out all the noises, the bad news days and distractions, and getting really quiet with your own thoughts has meaningful and healing powers. As an introvert, you can be your own best friend at peace with yourself because you're not energized by things outside of yourself. I find when life gets overwhelming and I get caught in the minutia of listening to other people's ideas of what I should do, who I should be, how I should think that shutting it all out and carving out time for my own quiet reflection is the best and most powerful way for me to get back to myself. It's where I find my most significant moments of inspiration while also feeling the most calm and where my brain can come along for the ride. Instead of taking me on its usual anxious adventures as introverts, we don't really have to work all that hard to find peace in solitude and find moments where we can really listen to ourselves without having to

Speaker 2: 13:10

Celebrate that

Speaker 1: 13:13

Align your life's work with something you're truly passionate about. This is the exact reason I am able to be on all day long overall. I love what I do. I see the alignment of my work with my personal values and ethics, and I get a chance to be super curious and add value to my business through asking great questions, critical thinking, and picking up on things others wanted. And when I speak up in meetings and conversations, people know it's not just to hear my own voice. It's very hard work. It's not always comfortable, but because I love it so much. I pushed myself to put my best foot forward. It's truly not work for me because it excites me so much more than my desire to recharge and

Speaker 2: 13:56

Stay quiet and forth.

Speaker 1: 13:59

Use social media, to express yourself and find your voice. There's a whole world out there of individuals that resonate with your story, that struggled with the same things you do and are passionate about the things that excite you to the core connection comes from both the place of commonality through shared interests, but also through vulnerability, sharing your failures and fears in a forum that gives people just enough of a glimpse into your life. And thoughts can be so empowering. You can build incredibly strong and powerful personal brands this way. And while you're at it, you may even find your confidence building. If you find yourself placed in a position out of your comfort zone or take on a role like myself, that requires you to be more on than off practice, prepare and trained, ask for feedback from trusted people in your life, prepare scripts for phone conversations, videotape yourself. Speaking to find ways you can improve your ability to connect and be prepared to work and push through the anxiety. It's not going to be easy, but I promise you it's worth it. And I'll finish off with a quote that continues to be an aha moment for me. And one that speaks to the incredible work that Susan Cain, the author of quiet continues to do to shine a light on the introverts around us. She speaks to this quote by Gandhi that says in a gentle way, you can shake the world. Just remember your voice is impeccable and important, and anything is possible.

Speaker 2: 15:31

If you haven't

Speaker 1: 15:32

Taken a moment, I would love for you to be part of the conversation with me for the longterm hit subscribe on your favorite podcast player and tune in every two weeks for new episodes and conversations. If you're so I would love for you to leave a review or for you to connect with me, to tell me how I can be of further service to you. My contact details are always left in the description box of each episode. And I'm grateful for each of you coming along on the journey with me, trusting me and giving me all this space

Speaker 2: 16:04

To be my authentic self. I can't wait for what comes next.